Tiny Pangs of Sadness

With only about a month until I’m out of this town, and out of Japan, I’ve been feeling more extremely about the small things. None of them really matter much, but they compound. Like encountering a small enemy in Dark Souls, not threatening by itself, but with two or three coming at you from behind, and nowhere to run, you can quickly take a beating.

Hanging up my clothes yesterday, I got a little teary-eyed thinking about how I’ll just use a dryer in the states and laundry will be over in an hour. Weird.

Whenever I encounter my girlfriend’s 10 month old niece, the niece starts to cry. What am I doing wrong? If it were any other baby, I wouldn’t mind, but my girlfriend really loves her.

On the other hand, kids at the preschool that were once scared of me now come up and hug me. How do I tell them that I’m about to disappear from their lives?

I thought I would be the first one to leave, but then the school nurse announces she’ll be taking a break from school in two weeks and probably won’t see me after that. Why is this so hard?

Tomorrow morning, I’m heading with some friends up north to Kesennuma in Northeast Miyagi where we’ll go to an island and camp and have a party for all the people leaving. I’m excited to see people again. I’m sad that it might be the last time I’ll see them. But with all these people, there’s still a chance we’ll meet up again.

In general, I’m happy. Life is pretty good. But, these feelings! Where are they coming from? I feel like a teenager again.


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